Update!
I have taken the models described here and translated them into PuLP models. PuLP is a linear programming package for Python. Check it out if you're interested in taking this further:
PuLP Shopping with a Data Scientist.ipynb
The setup
Me: "I think we should buy three USBC cables."
— Chris Albon (@chrisalbon) October 23, 2017
Her: "Why?"
Me: "Well see, if you look at this..."
Her: "Whaaaa? Who would diagram that?!" pic.twitter.com/bQVA6OVbtc
Chris Albon tweeted an image of an undirected graph that he used to justify the number of cables he needed to his partner. She of course responded he was a nerd (subtext). I can only assume that her nerdshaming of Albon and his lack of time are probably the reasons why he didn’t take this to the next level: A linear programming problem made to minimize the amount of money spent on cables!
Once you’re done reading this post, show it to your significant other and watch them roll their eyes in exasperation at your ridiculous need to turn even the simplest of everyday tasks into a complex problem worthy of that chip on your shoulder!
Modeling it mathematically
My interpretation of the real world version of this problem (the best solutions entail avoiding any collaboration with the actual stakeholder) is as follows:
Minimize the amount of money we spend on cables subject to the following constraints/assumptions:
 We must have at least one cable to connect every
device to the laptop.
 Different devices and needs behoove the use of
different lengths of cords.
 Costs fluctuate as a function of the cord length
Next we set up a linear programming model in Excel. Why Excel? Because it’s super easy for prototyping these simple models. This is the full mathematical formulation:
Objective function
Minimize
F = 10 * (lightning_1 + microusb_1 + usb_1 + usbc_1) + 15 * (lightning_3 + microusb_3 + usb_3 + usbc_3) + 20 * (lightning_6 + microusb_6 + usb_6 + usbc_6)
Inputs
These follow the pattern of "[connector type]_[length in feet]"
 lightning_1
 lightning_3
 lightning_6
 microusb_1
 microusb_3
 microusb_6
 usb_1
 usb_3
 usb_6
 usbc_1
 usbc_3
 usbc_6
Cost Assumptions
 Each one foot connector has a unit cost of $10
 Each three foot connector has a unit cost of $15
 Each six foot connector has a unit cost of $20
Device connectors
power_supply_connectors = usbc_6
ipad_connectors = lightning_ 1 + lightning_ 3 + lightning_ 6
iphone_connectors = ipad_connectors
android_connectors = microusb_ 1 + microusb_3 + microusb_6
camera_connectors = microusb_3 + microusb_6
battery_usb_connectors = usb_3 + usb_6
battery_usbc_connectors = usbc_3 + usbc_6
battery_connectors = battery_usb_connectors + battery_usbc_connectors
hd_connectors = usbc_3 + usbc_6
Constraints
 All input variables are integers
 Each device connector must be >= 1 with the
exception of the battery_usb_connectors and battery_usbc_connectors (because
they are represented by battery_connectors).
 The power connector must be 6 feet. I mean
seriously.
 The iPad/iPhone connectors can be 1, 3, or 6
feet long.
 The Android connector can be 1, 3, or 6 feet
long.
 The camera connector must be 3 or 6 feet long.
 The battery connector must be 3 or 6 feet long.
 The hard drive connector must be 3 or 6 feet long.
That's all there is to it! We next just translate this model into Excel like so (the optimized result of running the model is pictured):
Thank goodness we did this! Now we know that we will need to buy one 6foot usbc cable, a 3foot microusb cable, and a 1foot lightning cable to connect all of our devices. The minimum amount we could possibly spend to meet our criteria is $45 (plus tax and s/h).
Making it a even more complicated
Just to show how we might extend this, what if Albon wanted to use all of his USBC ports on his MBP? We could add the following constraints to the model and then solve

The number of connectors purchased must be <=
the number of devices that can use it.
 We must be able to use all four of the usbc ports on Albon's MBP simultaneously.
In order to do this model must get much more complex. We now need our inputs to be essentially assigning each cable a device to be used on as our inputs (the yellow boxes below). We still keep the top portion of our spreadsheet that indicates if each device has at least one sufficient cable. Conceptually though we are saying "Assign connectors to be used simultaneously with each other on separate devices so that four connectors could be utilized at once and make sure that whatever assignment we come up with enables us to connect all devices to Albon's MBP somehow."
On top of this we could add on one last constraint: We need to always be able to plug in the power supply and the HD.
Now the minimum cost to meet all of these constraints would be $65 and we would have the power supply and HD plugged in (as required) as well as the iPad and the Android device. If different combinations don't make sense you could add even more constraints to make this as complicated as your little heart desires!
I'm not going to convert this more complicated model to its full mathematical definition because I'm laz... err... I mean... It is obvious how to convert this model to its formal mathematical definition so it is left as an exercise to the reader. Ahem.
Wrapping up
To summarize, we've seen how we can take a very simple problem and solve in the most pedantic way possible using techniques from Operations Research. We started out with the simplest very complicated solution and eventually moved to a very complicated complicated solution.
In all seriousness, linear programming is a very powerful tool. In our final model, we actually end up with a recommendation of which specific items we should be able to plug in at once. The entire motivation behind that suggestion as well we see are just a series of linear mathematical relationships used to minimize the single objective function of cost.
You can download the Excel file from github here:
https://github.com/jcbozonier/research/blob/master/excel/Cable_models.xlsx
You will need to have the solver addin for Excel turned on.
Enjoy your loved ones' eye rolls!